I am an emotional mess as I sit here and type this letter. Your sister has fallen asleep on my tummy, as I caress her little face, lightly snoring, and far away in dreamland. I look at her in awe and think about how soon you too will be here by mommy’s side, resting right by your sister.
“Motherhood is my purpose, I was created for this, your sister taught me that and you’re solidifying it my darling.”
I have loved you since the day I saw the positive sign on the pregnancy test. I couldn’t believe it, I was having another beautiful baby. Hearing your heartbeat, feeling your little flutters, and seeing your adorable face on the ultrasound. To find out I was having you, another darling little princess!
I feel so grateful to again feel all of these big, overwhelmingly loving emotions for someone I haven’t even met yet! Here we are, 39 weeks of carrying you and exactly a week from your due date. You seem quite cozy in there princesa. The anticipation for your arrival is strong! Mommy, daddy, and your big sister Anaís, are all waiting with so much excitement for you to show signs that you’re ready to come into the world.
I used to wonder what it would be like, having another child. What I would look and feel like. These nine months of carrying you has been one of the hardest and happiest times of my life, aside from carrying your sister. My body has been through so much this time around, mommy has morning sickness even now, you’re so picky with what you want mommy to eat, sleep has been nonexistent this time because you’re so active and happy, and oh darling have your kicks been strong! But I take all of these as great signs that you’re going to be a bold, brave, and strong little girl. A perfect addition to the Douglas household. Motherhood is my purpose, I was created for this, your sister taught me that and you’re solidifying it my darling.
I may or may not be crying right now as I finish up my letter to you. It’s been so long, with just your sister and I. When I was pregnant with her I had no idea what kind of mother I would be. I didn’t know what motherhood was like or what to expect. However, when she arrived it was as if I knew all along how to be a mom. Your sister taught me about unconditional love, sacrifice, and how to be a mother. Anaís is such a big girl now! She’s absolutely amazing and you’re so lucky to have her as your sister! You’re both so lucky to have one another. At first she was a little hesitant about having another baby around but now she’s always rubbing mommy’s belly, giving it kisses, and talking to you, our baby. I cannot wait to see the bond you two will have and all of the wonderful adventures you will have together! I am a bit nervous on how much of a change this is going to be for your sister. She’s been the only princess in this house and has had me all to herself for over two years! She made me a mama and I don’t know where I would be without her. However, I’m sure she’ll fit into the role quite well, just be a little patient with her. But you, my darling, you have imprinted on my heart and I love you oh, so much already. You’re not even earth-side yet and I know how much I love you, you and your sister are my joy, my princesas.
I am not going to lie, I am a little terrified of giving birth. I was in labor with your sister for three long days, but she came out in three pushes! I have no idea what to expect this time around. Just go easy on mom, please. I know enormous changes are coming, and new sets of challenges, but it’s going to be such a wonderful time of immense growth for me. I am excited for your arrival but I know there will be things that I struggle with. I have been practicing breathing techniques and meditation as I try to fill my body with love, excitement, and happiness, and rid myself of all doubt, fear, and unsureness. I trust my body. I was created for this. I know myself as a mother and I am overjoyed for you to make your arrival. You’re going to fit right in princesa, mommy can’t wait to hold you in her arms!
Your mommy xx