Ok, so maybe surviving isn’t the greatest word choice. In fact, our first year of marriage has been wonderful. I won’t lie, we’ve had our ups-and downs, our intense arguments, and silent treatments, but we used those tough situations as lessons and learned from them. Boring, I know. But it’s how you make a marriage work, and last. Couples find that after marriage, reality sets in and everything becomes dull, this is only because the tough works begins, such as discussing and dealing with finances, chores, work, and parenting. Your marriage will be successful only if you and your spouse put in the effort and work as a team.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, scared, or worried about your first year of marriage, don’t be. It’s a journey, just like every other part of our life. Here are a few tips we’ve learned that may help newlyweds survive their first year of marriage.
30 Tips For A Successful First Year Of Marriage:
- Discuss finances, chores, work, and building a family, early on. These are important issues and you both should be on the same page.
- Don’t play the blame game. Don’t be selfish. Don’t keep score.
- The first year of marriage can be challenging, allow each other the time to adjust to the married life.
- Share your feelings and talk about them with your spouse.
- Express your love for one another as often as you can. Everyone enjoys feeling loved and appreciated.
- Respect your in-laws even if you don’t like them or don’t agree with them.
- Understand that you just gained a new family.
- Communication is extremely important. If you have a problem, concern, or are feeling any type of way, talk to your spouse. They can’t read your mind.
- Spend quality time together. Yes you’re married, you may be busy with work, or kids. But, quality time together strengthens your bond.
- Share the workload. Help each other. Not one person should be responsible for everything. Are you a SAHM or SAHD? Even then, your spouse can help do the dishes one in a while or take out the trash. Sharing responsibilities is important.
- Learn to forgive each other. Don’t keep score.
- Patience is key. Learn how to control your anger.
- Have sex. Have sex often. Life gets in the way, but lovemaking should be a priority.
- There’s always room for improvement. Even if everything is great, it can be even better.
- There will be conflicts. Learn how to solve your problems together.
- It’s ok to go to bed angry at each other. Sometimes you need to clear your mind and sleep it off. Not every problem needs to be fixed the moment it happens.
- It’s ok to be mad at each other. No one is perfect.
- Marriage isn’t about compromise, it’s about helping each other grow.
- Be your own person. Don’t change or let yourself go just because you’re married. Most marriages fail because couples fail to maintain a life outside of their marriage.
- Always take care of yourself. Don’t stop getting your manicures, doing your make-up, shaving your legs, or dressing up just because you’re married.
- Get rid of your expectations. Too many relationships suffer because spouses expect their relationship to be or look a certain way.
- Get rid of the 50/50 idea. You both should be putting in your all, it should be 100/100.
- Don’t keep secrets. We all have secrets from our past but don’t hide them from your spouse. They should love you for all that you are.
- Don’t give up when the going gets tough. Work through it together.
- Take care of each other, no matter what happens you’re both on this ride together.
- Don’t take one another for granted. Say thank you. Practice gratitude.
- Allow yourself to lean on your partner. You can work hard towards your goals, and take care of yourself, but don’t be afraid to lean on your partner when you need help.
- Go easy on yourselves. Not everyday will be a walk in the park and that’s ok. You have your whole lives ahead of you, don’t put so much pressure on yourselves.
- Turn off your phone. If you’re with your spouse, put down the phone and spend time with each other.
- Don’t forget romance. Always put in the effort to win each other over, and over again.
At the end of the day, the most important thing I learned as a newlywed is that no two marriages are alike. What works for someone else may not work for you. Marriage can be a beautiful thing but it requires work, effort, and patience, just like every other aspect of your life. You should always strive for improvement and work towards becoming a better version of yourself and a better spouse.